After a long, hot summer, many people look forward to the fall as a time for development and change – a time to come back to work, begin new endeavors, or even get serious about finding a partner. Despite your best efforts, a relationship may still evade you. Many patterns have emerged in my work as a therapist that help explain why people remain alone despite their desires to find a partner. You can begin to feel less stuck if you work to discover self-compassion and patience with the help of professional matchmakers.
Can’t Find Love? Here’s the Reason Why
My advice to those of you who have been blaming yourself for their lack of happiness is to give yourself a break. Your inability to meet Mr. Right has nothing to do with your willpower… Before the stars align and you meet him, you may have to deal with some personal issues first. Things always work out the way they’re intended to.
It’s still beneficial to discover a few possible reasons why your love life may be halted. The following are possible explanations for your inability to locate a partner.
1. Your expectations are too high.
Standards are critical, don’t you think? It’s crucial to know what you’re searching for and to be selective about who you’re considering as a possible companion. However, if you’re not going to settle until you meet a guy who’s 6’4″, self-sufficient, enjoys traveling, and wants children, you’ll be seeking for a long time. In the end, you’re probably writing people off for all the wrong reasons if you’ve convinced yourself that you’re a specific “type.” This is a great opportunity for you to reevaluate your priorities, as it’s highly doubtful anybody can match the picture of your perfect mate you’ve drawn up. In your opinion, what’s the most significant thing in your life? A tall person or a trustworthy person? Would you rather date a blonde or someone who shares your sense of adventure? You’ll have an easier time figuring out who’s a good fit after you find that with professional matchmakers in Houston.
2. You’re being unreasonable in your demands.
Standards are high, no doubt. Just because he isn’t a six-figure earner and has abs of steel doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give him an opportunity to prove himself. Your definition of Mr. Right may need to be revised if you aren’t finding a match.
3. You aren’t getting enough exercise by staying inside all the time.
To meet men, you must get out of the house. If you want to meet individuals who share your interests but don’t have the perfect combination of good looks and a killer grin, you should get out of your comfort zone and try new things, like joining a local sports team or donating your time. For a month, try the “simply say yes” philosophy and see how it works for you. Say yes to everyone – pals who want to dance, the man from your gym who wants a coffee, and your sister who wants to go on a last-minute weekend road trip – within that time period When you say yes, you never know what can happen!
No matter how long it takes for you to recover from previous relationships, there may be other issues that are keeping you from finding love right now.
4. Recovering from past pain is not over.
In reality, it takes a lot longer than you think to overcome a relationship that lasted a long time, even though you may believe you are. For every 5-7 years of a marriage or relationship, some believe, you need a year of healing. A month for every year you spent together is the standard. I’ve spoken to several ladies who support this chronology. If you were happy for the relationship to end, whether he cheated or lied, and what the breakup looked like, it all comes down to how you felt about it. In contrast, if you’ve just been mending for a year and are getting impatient because you haven’t found love yet… It’s likely because you’re still dealing with your feelings of loss and suffering, even if you don’t realize it. Allow yourself some time to reflect on your former relationships before embarking on a new one.
5. You’re Only Looking Online
The majority of women rely only on online dating services to meet men. Dating sites dwindle, so they give up and assume there is no one else out there. In the long run, this kind of thinking might cause you to give up on ever having a wonderful relationship again.
Make sure you have a dating blueprint that includes four strategies to meet guys to prevent this from happening:
- Using the internet to meet new people
- Meeting guys face-to-face is the best way to find love.
- Matchmakers (Matchmakers and online dating may be equally difficult if you can’t see the potential because you can’t see the perfect man for you.)
- enlisting the assistance of close friends
At the very least, you’ll want to use at least two methods of meeting guys.
When it comes to finding a partner, what are the things that keep you from getting out there? Are you a mashup of several different personalities? Because I didn’t cover everything, what are some of the reasons why you’re still single despite the fact that it’s not something you want to be? You may begin to sort through the barriers in your way by conducting some self-exploration and discovering how components of your prior experiences and sense of self interfere with being in a relationship. Another option is to honor your personal timetable and come back to the concept of a relationship at a later point if you aren’t in a relationship because you aren’t ready or interested.
Many people find themselves single despite their desire to be in a relationship. To get you thinking about the true reasons you’ve been putting it off, here’s a little preview. You can learn to accept yourself as a single person if you have more compassion for yourself and a better knowledge of how and why you’re single. This can lead to new relationship possibilities with professional matchmakers. Everything you can conceive of is conceivable. Do some soul searching and figure out why you’re doing this. Embrace them, and don’t be afraid of them. They need to be dealt with. You may be shocked in a pleasant manner by this procedure.